Learn from Coastal Women's Shelter's Advocates about the aspects of working
with domestic violence survivors in this Purple Table Talk video series.
Click on the buttons below to view each of four videos.
with domestic violence survivors in this Purple Table Talk video series.
Click on the buttons below to view each of four videos.
What is Domestic Violence?
The term "domestic violence" refers to a range of abusive behaviors: degrading remarks and cruel jokes, threatening looks, constant monitoring, economic exploitation, punches and kicks, sexual abuse, strangulations, suffocating actions, and homicide. Abusers use these tactics to gain power and control over their victims. Unchecked, domestic violence increases in frequency and severity.
While verbal and emotional abuse may be subtler than physical harm, this doesn't mean they are less destructive to victims. Many survivors have said that the emotional scars take much longer to heal than the broken bones.
Who are the victims and perpetrators?
Research shows that the overwhelming majority of adult victims of domestic violence are women, crossing boundaries of race, age, socioeconomic status, marital status, sexual orientation, mental or physical ability, and religious background.
Victims are factory workers, nurses, lawyers, homemakers, police officers, and students. They are grandparents and teenagers. They are your neighbors.
Abusers are unemployed workers, farmers, computer experts, salespeople, university professors, truck drivers, psychiatrists, and teachers. And abusers are not easily identifiable. While their behaviors may seem pathological, they are not likely to suffer from severe mental disorders.
Domestic violence is NOT caused by mental illness, alcohol abuse, or stress. It is caused by one person's desire to have power and control over a partner, and it is a perpetrator’s choice to behave in this way.
Why might a victim stay with an abuser?
While leaving may seem like a simple decision to those outside the relationship, battered persons often face multiple barriers to leaving. These barriers include:
• Financial dependence
• Desire to keep the family together
• Hope that the abuse will stop
• Pressure from extended family members
• Denial
• Shame
• Lack of resources
• Fear
Many people believe that victims of domestic violence will be safe once they separate from the abusers. They also believe that victims are free to leave abusers any time. However, leaving does not usually put an end to the violence. Batterers often escalate their violence to coerce a victim into reconciliation or to retaliate for the victim's rejection or abandonment of the abuser.
Those who believe that they are entitled to a relationship with victims or that they "own" their partners view leaving as the ultimate betrayal and will likely retaliate. Because of this, leaving an abusive relationship can be a very dangerous time.
One study reveals that 73% of the battered women seeking emergency medical services sustained injuries after leaving the batterer. Women are most likely to be murdered when attempting to report abuse or leave an abusive relationship.
But this does not mean the victims should stay. Living with an abuser is highly dangerous because the violence often escalates and becomes more frequent over time. However, if a victim decides to leave, planning is extremely important. Leaving safely may include legal intervention; and CWS advocates can discuss with victims how to break the bonds of abuse and live as safely as possible.
The term "domestic violence" refers to a range of abusive behaviors: degrading remarks and cruel jokes, threatening looks, constant monitoring, economic exploitation, punches and kicks, sexual abuse, strangulations, suffocating actions, and homicide. Abusers use these tactics to gain power and control over their victims. Unchecked, domestic violence increases in frequency and severity.
While verbal and emotional abuse may be subtler than physical harm, this doesn't mean they are less destructive to victims. Many survivors have said that the emotional scars take much longer to heal than the broken bones.
Who are the victims and perpetrators?
Research shows that the overwhelming majority of adult victims of domestic violence are women, crossing boundaries of race, age, socioeconomic status, marital status, sexual orientation, mental or physical ability, and religious background.
Victims are factory workers, nurses, lawyers, homemakers, police officers, and students. They are grandparents and teenagers. They are your neighbors.
Abusers are unemployed workers, farmers, computer experts, salespeople, university professors, truck drivers, psychiatrists, and teachers. And abusers are not easily identifiable. While their behaviors may seem pathological, they are not likely to suffer from severe mental disorders.
Domestic violence is NOT caused by mental illness, alcohol abuse, or stress. It is caused by one person's desire to have power and control over a partner, and it is a perpetrator’s choice to behave in this way.
Why might a victim stay with an abuser?
While leaving may seem like a simple decision to those outside the relationship, battered persons often face multiple barriers to leaving. These barriers include:
• Financial dependence
• Desire to keep the family together
• Hope that the abuse will stop
• Pressure from extended family members
• Denial
• Shame
• Lack of resources
• Fear
Many people believe that victims of domestic violence will be safe once they separate from the abusers. They also believe that victims are free to leave abusers any time. However, leaving does not usually put an end to the violence. Batterers often escalate their violence to coerce a victim into reconciliation or to retaliate for the victim's rejection or abandonment of the abuser.
Those who believe that they are entitled to a relationship with victims or that they "own" their partners view leaving as the ultimate betrayal and will likely retaliate. Because of this, leaving an abusive relationship can be a very dangerous time.
One study reveals that 73% of the battered women seeking emergency medical services sustained injuries after leaving the batterer. Women are most likely to be murdered when attempting to report abuse or leave an abusive relationship.
But this does not mean the victims should stay. Living with an abuser is highly dangerous because the violence often escalates and becomes more frequent over time. However, if a victim decides to leave, planning is extremely important. Leaving safely may include legal intervention; and CWS advocates can discuss with victims how to break the bonds of abuse and live as safely as possible.
